Horatio. Light of my life, fire of my
loins. My sin, my soul. Hor-a-tio.
I have
begun watching reruns of CSI: Miami. You know
how some people say everything happens for a reason? I think they’re right.
And anyway, if this is wrong, I don’t want to be right. If this is a dream, don’t wake me. I am guilty, guilty, guilty, but I don’t
care!
Horatio. He steps into the frame. Perpendicular.
It wasn’t
long into my first episode of CSI: Miami that the perpendicularity of Horatio Caine
announced itself to me. Subtle, at
first, yes — or at least buried beneath the coooool that radiated outward, the
deliberate pauses between liquid phrases, the hypnotic repetitions of people’s
names, the sunglasses. Oh, the way
those sunglasses slipped away like linen trousers falling to the ground, like a
drop of condensation from a margarita glass. Yes, those sunglasses then decisively but never hurriedly,
delicately but in a manly way returned to stand as sentry across H’s statuary
visage. But the perpendicularity was
there. And soon I realized:
It. Means. Everything.
On a rare
occasion, Horatio Caine stands three-quarters — some 75 degrees, if you
will. Pay attention, however, and
you will see that most every frame involves the pedagogy of
perpendicularity. Here is a guy
who, just by his posture could teach the formula for calculating the angle of a
right triangle, for determining the diameter of the circle. And indeed, he does. But there’s more.
Consider a
plumb line. You know, the
measuring device in which a weight is attached to a string or rope and then
dropped into the water or simply suspended in the air towards Earth’s
center? Gravity kicks in, and the
vertical is established. So
pure. So geometrical. So Horatio. But there’s more.
Perpendicularity,
or in some cases the vertical, establishes depth. Perpendicularity says — and here as everywhere else, we
adopt Horatio’s locution — I. Am
not. You. With one move, it seems, the problem of numerical identity —
that problem that has plagued philosophers for centuries — is solved. So, maybe personal identity is still up
for grabs, but we can’t blame the enigmatic Horatio Caine for that. Only one insoluble perplexity at a
time, please. But still, there is
more.
Depth. Not just to stand at a distance, but to
be deep. That, my friends, is the
perpendicularity of Horatio Caine.